Why not Tinder

Is Tinder Dating for you?

Talk about news in online dating today and it’s hard to get past the mega phenomena that is Tinder. Tinder conquered America and now is taking the UK and increasingly Europe by storm. Its omnipresence is leaving many traditional online dating sites feeling unloved and anxious about the future. Do they still have anything to offer UK singles when competing against this sexy new upstart? I think the answer is probably yes. Despite the staggering numbers (10 million daily users, valued at $5billion), Tinder dating does have its disadvantages and is surely not the right service for everyone. Our pubs and clubs may be full of Tinder users, but in our more sober moments, is this the way we really want to interact with potential new partners?

Seamless Tinder dating?

Writing in a recent post on WIRED.com Issie Lapowsky commented that “Tinder has made the difficult process of meeting a total stranger seamless, exciting, and perhaps most importantly, mainstream”. Strong endorsement indeed. After all who doesn’t want to meet new people? Something that makes this awkward process ‘seamless’ is surely a wonderful addition to our lives. And I guess, at its best this could be the Tinder dating experience. However, Tinder dating has been around long enough now for many to take a slightly less starry eyed view. I know from chatting to my single friends that the initial excitement of the Tinder dating experience can fade out quickly and many find that it’s just too open and whimsical, with many messages and contacts proving insincere.

Such is the playful nature of Tinder, that often singles let their attached friends message on their behalf and get into flirting exchanges they have no intention of doing anything about. One time I saw an acquaintance tease a guy for over an hour, just for the amusement of her friends! And that’s the point, the seamlessness of Tinder is a disadvantage in some ways: It’s too easy for people to abuse the system.

What are the disadvantages of Tinder dating?

Aside from the danger of being teased, for me the most obvious disadvantage of Tinder is that it doesn’t get you out of the house in quite the same way that a traditional dating site might. Traditional online dating sites are places where people arrange to meet up. Tinder dating is really for people who are already out on the town. It’s a big difference of approach.

Tinder is best suited to use in social situations and people have a lot of fun with it while out with their friends, chatting to people in the same bar or local area. However, if you’re sat alone at home watching the TV, playing with Tinder dating can seem a lot less attractive.

The light-hearted format and instant messaging requirements of Tinder are surly not for every one. Many people feel pressured by such constant demands for witty texts and prefer an environment that is slower and more respectful.

This is likely to be true of older groups who have not grown up in an instant messaging culture and instinctively may wish to keep their distance at the beginning of a conversation. But it could also be true of some young people who want to take their time and who want to arrange dates in a more formal manner than Tinder dating allows.

Tinder dating scams

A further substantial disadvantage of Tinder is that it is very vulnerable to scammer activity. As a general rule of thumb, the easier a site is to access, the more likely it is to be targeted by scammers and the harder it will be for the site to police activity.

Matchmaking sites such as Parship or eharmony have registration processes that can take up to an hour. Such lengthy questionnaires are a barrier to anyone wishing to use their services whether scammer or not. It certainly gives these companies the chance to analyse their users and identify potential scammers (by the way they answer the questions). So, once again, having a easily accessible platform can be a disadvantage.

This scammer threat is another thing that makes Tinder dating better suited to use in bars in clubs (where often you can see who you’re talking too!) than for totally ‘blind’ hook ups.

Tinder as a new market, not a competitor

Overall it’s impossible to deny the charms of Tinder. It’s great fun and it’s transforming the way that we interact. But I’m increasingly seeing Tinder dating as a new form of communication for singles, not necessarily as a competitor to traditional online dating.

‘Tindering’ and online dating are certainly not mutually exclusive activities and many singles will be using their Tinder account while out and about, and also have an online dating profile they use to arrange suitable dates. Tinder in this way is an addition not a replacement.