Highly Effective Internet Dating...
The 7 habits of highly effective people is a self-help bible that huge numbers of people the world over have read and profited from. The 7 habits can be applied to all areas of life, including of course, internet dating. Here is the dating-experts synopsis of what 7 habits has to tell us about how to do internet dating effectively:
BE PROACTIVE:
It can be hard to ‘be proactive’ about dating without looking desperate, but that is exactly what internet dating allows to you to do. You can’t change your social circle or become a chat-up expert overnight, but you can register with an internet dating service and instantly acquire the possibility of meeting someone totally new. It’s a great first step to admitting to yourself that this is an issue you are prepared to do something about.
BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND:
Stephen R. Covey urges his readers to imagine their own death and visualize what they’d like others to be saying about them at the wake. Bit morbid if you ask me, but it is worth visualizing the future. Where do you want to live and what sort of lifestyle do you aspire to? What sort of values do you want to pass onto your children? What might you like to do with your retirement? Your future partner will have a massive influence on all these issues and relationships fail when these core desires do not align. Save yourself a lot of heartache: define these values from the get-go and use internet dating to hunt out the partner who will help you achieve them.
PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST:
Be honest, how much of a priority is finding love for you? I thought so. So don’t neglect it and don’t run away from it when the going gets tough. Make time for internet dating: time for searching for your partner online, for updating your profile, for messaging others carefully and attentively.
THINK WIN-WIN:
Try to extract some mutual benefit from all the dates that you go on. Internet dating is likely to require you to go through a lot of dates with people who are not ‘the one’ or not even nearly ‘the one’. This can get a bit wearisome. Try to stay positive and get something out of your dates, even if it’s not romance. Maybe you can have a pleasant evening anyway, maybe you can tell each other something useful; maybe you can become friends. If you’re really honest with the other person you can achieve some sort of ‘win-win’ with even the most unlikely candidates.
SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD:
This one’s simple: Don’t talk too much on your first dates! – Go into your dates with a list of questions to ask them, not a list of anecdotes to tell them. Listen to them, understand them, make informed and sensible decisions about them.
SYNERGIZE:
Here’s a great thing: Two heads are better than one! As true of refining techniques for internet dating as it is of anything. What’s more there’s no better place for discussing this than when you’re on a date with someone you met online. It’s one of the few things you can guarantee you’ve got in common and will help fill the time, even if you find it’s the only thing you have to talk about. What’s more, a willingness to talk about your methodology gives some positive messages to your date. It shows that you are honest and open, and that you are thoughtful and have standards.
SHARPEN THE SAW:
Keep trying new things, keep trying new dating sites, keep working on your behaviors while out on a date. Anybody who really works at a skill can get better at it. You might be the most hopeless internet dater ever, but if you really face your failings and work on them, you can succeed!
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Submitted by George Sanders on