How to not waste your time dating online

how not to waste your time online dating

Time for online dating?

Many things online have the potential to waste our time massively and online dating can be the biggest time waster of all. Dating sites are very keen to keep us active and engaged and many have an array of gimmicks and games to keep our attention even when there are no new romantic potentials online. Be it carousels, winks, questionnaires or fun facts, online dating sites are busting a gut to keep you engaged. The result is that users find it hard to log off and get on with their lives and, for some, online dating can develop into an obsession.

The only answer to all this temptation is to fight back with sensible choices about what sort of site you sign up with and some strict limits on how much time you are prepared to devote to it. Here is dating-experts top tips for getting your dating/life balance right:

  1. Decide how much time you really have to spare for online dating. How social do you like to be online? Do you always have your social media turned on or do you need your offline space free from instant messaging or updates? What about your level of openness and transparency online. Are you comfortable being visible to all or do you require more discretion? These are important issues for you to be clear on right from the start. Your degree of comfort with being social online should shape your choice of provider and the way you use sites.
     
  2. Make sensible choices about which dating service will suit your life best. Using the answers to the questions above, start to think about the features you want from your ideal dating site. If you are happy to spend a lot of time and energy messaging people, then you probably want an open site with lots of features and instant messaging functions that will always be full of new possibilities and excitement. Tinder or Zoosk seem like obvious contenders for the most social of people. But, if your more pushed for time then you might consider sites that do some of the choosing for you and aren’t perhaps so dependent on instant messaging as the primary method of communication. More traditional matchmaking sites such as eharmony might suit you better. While they take longer to register with, the time savings thereafter can be huge, as these matchmakers narrow your focus to only a handful of possible dates.
     
  3. Value for money v. time. Online, the price of a service is no guarantee of its effectiveness. In fact in terms of numbers, free sites tend to have more people on their books than paid for sites. That said, there are decent matchmakers out there who, while they charge a subscription, can really do some of the work for you and find you suitable matches. It’s unquestionably less exciting, but matchmaking does require a lot less of your time. You may start off thinking you’re better off making your own choices, but after coming face to face with the limitless and random possibilities of a service like Tinder, many people have changed their mind and opted for a more pedestrian matchmaking service.
     
  4. Spotting like-minded people through online behaviours. It’s great when someone replies to your message quickly and you get into a conversation with them. What could be a better outcome? But beyond this positive reaction its worth thinking about what an instant reply or continuous messaging says about the person on the other end of the line (or indeed what messages you are sending out). It may be that you are looking for a very sociable person, in which case fine. But if your tastes are for more reserved people or people who, let’s face it, have better things to do with their day than instant message, then maybe you should hit the pause button and think for a bit before your write straight back. It’s natural that the most active get the most attention, but maybe you need to work on the people who are not so forthcoming; maybe these are the like-minded ones who get lost in the noise…
     
  5. Scheduling your online time slots. Don’t let online dating take over your life. Ever found yourself going to the computer to do something administrative and then spending 4 hours on facebook? Well with online dating its gets even worse. Just imagine trying to stop yourself pursuing an instant messaging conversation with a really attractive match. Not easy. So, be disciplined, allow yourself one or two slots of time a day when you will check your account and reply to your messages. Then log off! It’s that simple.

Once you’ve considered all these factors, why not go to our home page and browse through some of the dating site reviews we have compiled. With full lists of features and costs, it’s the perfect tool to help you make decisions about which service will suit your lifestyle best. 

Image courtesy of posterize / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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